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Good Writing Example: Down the Hill against Wind and Snow and Back to Nanchang alone at Night
  

        上乘范文举例:《披风历雪下井冈 只身夜返南昌城》
 Good Writing Example: Down the Hill against Wind and Snow and Back to Nanchang alone at Night

 (图为作者王凤臣2008年5月在自己任教的山东师大二附中留影。The photo is the writer Wang Fengchen in his school, the Second High School attached to Shandong Normal University, May, 2008.)

        (本文作者简介:山东师范大学第二附属中学校专家委员会委员、级部主任、语文高级教师王凤臣先生,是国家级骨干教师、首届全国“华美杰尔”语文教师奖获得者、山东省教育学会中学语文教育研究会理事、济南市实验课一等奖获得者、济南市语文学科带头人。《上乘范文举例:〈披星历雪下井冈 只身夜返南昌城〉》截自王凤臣先生2008年10月发表在《作文周刊》上的《21世纪中国在校生为什么写不出像样作文》。)

        (The author of this article: Mr. Wang Fengchen [王凤臣] is member of the Committee of Experts, director-class, national high-level Chinese language teacher at the Second High School attached to Shandong Normal University, the first prize winner of national “HUA-MEI-JIE-ER”[“华美杰尔”] Chinese language teachers, manager of Shandong Institute of Education and Language School Educational Research Association, the first prize winner of the experimental class, the pioneer Chinese language teacher of Jinan city. “Good Writing Example: Down the Hill against Wind and Snow and Back to Nanchang alone at Night” by Mr. Wang Fengchen[王凤臣]is selected from his published article in the “21st Century Chinese students, why can’t write a good essay?” on the “Weekly Writing” , October 2008. )

        很多老师都认为《披风历雪下井冈 只身夜返南昌城》是一篇非常具有教学分析价值的好文章。因它本身就出自孩子之手,所以拿到课堂上,也更容易被孩子们接受,理解。

         Many teachers agree that the “Down the Hill against Wind and Snow and Back to Nanchang alone at Night”(《披风历雪下井冈 只身夜返南昌城》) is a very good example of Chinese Writing case teaching for teenage. Because it itself from the hands of teenage, so in the classroom, students are more likely to accept and understand it.

        这篇文章的作者马宇歌,是全国著名中学北京清华大学附中,该校最棒最强的“一条龙试验班”里一个很漂亮的12岁小女孩。她初一放寒假,征得自己父母的赞同支持,应江西一些个人和部门的盛情邀请,在2000年1月25日星期二这天只身一人离开住家,途经南昌,会友办完各种事情后,又远赴距离北京1800公里之遥的井冈山区,为那里的同学们演讲并向革命老区贫困同龄小朋友捐赠了自己出版的书和自己得到的稿费……诸此等等,之后她被大雪困在了半山腰。马宇歌先设法乘中巴车转到吉安,又从吉安倒换上大巴车,再经数小时的长途颠簸,最终如期返回了南昌。

        The article’s author Ma Yuge (Ma Yu-ge/马宇歌/馬宇歌) is a pretty 12-year-old girl from the well-known secondary middle school attached to Tsinghua University in Beijing. Her class is the school’s best “one-stop test ban” . In her winter vacation, with the consent and support of her parents and invitation from a family in Jiangxi province, she started her individual journey in Tuesday, January 25th, 2000 alone, via Nanchang city. After visiting Friends and finishing a variety of things, she went to Jinggangshan area, which is 1800 kilometers away from Beijing. She gave local students a speech, and donated her published books and the money she earned from the publication to the impoverished children and so on. Later she was trapped in heavy snow at the hillside. Ma Yuge managed to take the first bus to Ji’an County, and then, got on a bus there. After hours of hardship of traveling, she finally returned to the Nanchang city.

        一路上,马宇歌饱受了寒冷的折磨,经历了不少波折。但她战胜了一个大都市12岁的女孩子难以想象和面对的一系列艰难险阻,走过了人生道路上难以忘怀的非凡之旅。这种只身在外,极有意义的丰富经历,不要说对一个小女孩而言,就是在许许多多同龄的大男孩中间,怕也是举世无双绝无仅有的吧?

        Along the way, Ma Yuge had to bear the torture of the coldness. She had gone through many twists and turns. But she overcame a series of difficulties and obstacles which is unimaginable to a 12-year-old city girl. She had an unforgettable extraordinary journey in life. This alone outside, very rich and meaningful experience, not to mention that she is a little girl, even for many of boys of her same age, is also quite unique, isn’t it ?

        马宇歌以其朴实的语言,平静而又不乏自豪地记录下了她这段难忘的旅程,呈现在读者面前,令人感喟,令人赞叹。后来,这篇日记被广泛刊载到了中国各地一些报纸杂志上,最终荣获了2001年10月在南京隆重颁发的教育系统“第八届‘雨花奖’全国中学生作文大赛初中组一等奖” (“一等奖”也是最高奖)。

        Ma Yuge’s tone is simple and calm. She recorded this memorable journey, presented it in front of the reader, and made people moved and impressive. Later, this diary published widely in the number of newspapers and magazines all over China, finally won first prize of “the eighth ‘Yuhuatai Award’(“雨花奖”) secondary students nationwide essay contest for junior high school group” ( “First Class” is the highest award) in October 2001, issued by the Nanjing education system.

        这里,我们把马宇歌写的《披风历雪下井冈 只身夜返南昌城》原文5300字列为上乘范文,放在后边供大家自行赏析。同时希望看完它,都到网上去搜搜 “马宇歌”这个人名,了解一下马宇歌的更多写作背景和她一路走来的非凡历程、个人现状以及社会各界评价。世上有史以来只有她一个人叫“马宇歌”,至今没有重名者。所以搜到的网上内容都是属于她的,大概至少有十几万条,许多篇各类文章吧。

        Here, we attach MaYuge’s diary of 5,300 words, “Down the Hill against Wind and Snow and Back to Nanchang alone at Night ” as a good example on the back for your own appreciation. After reading it, you could go to on-line search her name “马宇歌” (Ma Yuge/ Ma Yu-ge/馬宇歌) , to find out more information about Ma Yuge’s writing background and her extraordinary journey along the way, the individual assessment of the status quo, as well as all critics of society. In the history of the world, only one person called “马宇歌” (Ma Yuge/ Ma Yu-ge/馬宇歌). Therefore, all the information on-line is about her. There are at least 100,000 types of items online.

        马宇歌是一个相当了不起的小作者,极具广阔发展前途——这不是少数人的看法。她写的文章尤其是记叙文,有别于这个年龄段通常的无病呻吟及各类无聊之作,具有波澜壮阔、景象万千的亲身体验色彩,画面感、镜头感很强,笔触真实生动,行文用语该苍劲处不扭捏,该细腻处极细腻,绝非任何闭门造车者可以模仿得了的。

        Ma Yuge(Ma Yu-ge/马宇歌/馬宇歌) is a great teenage writer who has very broad prospects - this is agreed among most people. She writes articles in particular narrative. Among her peers, her writings are different from the usual ones. Her essays with a magnificent scene of thousands of first-hand experience are really colorful. She has a strong sense of the image, story and reality. Her language is vigorous, without affection, but delicate when needed, which cannot be imitated by people lack of experiences.

        她所具备的那种超常胆识、与人交往能力、博爱情怀、同情心、亲和力、乐观向上精神、远大志向、宽阔视野、虚怀若谷气质、自强不息品格、勇于实践的博闻勤学态度……等,不仅值得多数人认真加以思考学习,大家更应清楚懂得,这正是导致马宇歌能够写出好文章的原动力和人文基础!

        She has the kind of extraordinary courage, the communication ability, humane, compassion, friendly, optimistic spirit, the long-term strong will, broad vision and open mind, self-improvement, practice capacity and so on. Not only are them worthy of serious study and thinking, but also we should clearly understand this is the driving force that makes MaYuge able to write good essays!

        马宇歌同学很有巾帼不让须眉,英豪年少,吞吐天地的大家气象。读她的作品,使人向善,催人奋进,老少咸宜无论悲喜,倍感人生充满希望。大家分头找来马宇歌的文章,去好好体会体会,也许还会有意外感悟或其他更大更多收获的。

        Ma Yuge is an ambitious young girl with great courage. Reading her works makes people delighted and inspired. Regardless of the different backgrounds of readers, her optimism brings hope to everyone. You may look for more essays of Ma Yuge for a serious taste. Perhaps you’ll find more surprises and nutrition from them.

        (【注】《上乘范文举例:〈披星历雪下井冈 只身夜返南昌城〉》一文作者简介:山东师范大学第二附属中学校专家委员会委员、级部主任、语文高级教师王凤臣先生,是国家级骨干教师、首届全国“华美杰尔”语文教师奖获得者、山东省教育学会中学语文教育研究会理事、济南市实验课一等奖获得者、济南市语文学科带头人。附后为在南京2001年10月颁发的教育系统“第八届‘雨花奖’全国中学生作文大赛”初中组最高奖获得者马宇歌的获奖作文《披风历雪下井冈 只身夜返南昌城》。该文选自在北京具有一社两块牌子的 “解放军出版社”即“昆仑出版社”2002年9月第一版“展翅鸟丛书”第五辑《谁把流年暗偷换》第137页—143页。该书由公开出版发行的全国性月刊《初中生》杂志编辑,其中收录有马宇歌创作的很多文章。该书被核准颁发的中国政府管理出版书号为ISBN 7—80040—638—5/ I·474,各地图书馆内一般都有这本书。其实马宇歌的许多作品,特别是《披风历雪下井冈 只身夜返南昌城》这篇,因其具有的独创性、传奇特色、诗一样的童话意境等,本身就是很好的连环画、动漫、电视剧、电影、绘画、其它各类造型艺术的创作蓝本,堪称传世之作。并且这样的一个真实蓝本,也不是任何时候都可随意碰得上的,确属罕见。)

        (【Note】 The author of “Good Writing Example: Down the Hill against Wind and Snow and Back to Nanchang alone at Night” is Mr. Wang Fengchen [王凤臣]. He is member of the Committee of Experts, director-class, national high-level Chinese language teacher at the Second High School attached to Shandong Normal University, the first prize winner of national “HUA-MEI-JIE-ER” [“华美杰尔”] Chinese language teachers, manager of Shandong Institute of Education and Language School Educational Research Association, the first prize winner of the experimental class, the pioneer Chinese language teacher of Jinan city. Attached is the article “Down the Hill against Wind and Snow and Back to Nanchang alone at Night” written by Ma Yuge, who won the top “Yuhuatai Award”[“雨花奖”] for middle school students in the Eighth National Writing Competition for Middle and High School Students in Nanjing in October 2001. The article was in collected in the book “It happens As Time Flies ”[《谁把流年暗偷换》] [page 137-143], which is one of the birds-in-full-swing series published by Kunlun Press [Beijing] in September 2002. The book [ISBN 7—80040—638—5/ I·474], edited by the national monthly “Middle School Students”[《初中生》] , includes many articles written by Ma Yuge and it can be found in most libraries in China. In fact, many of the works of Ma Yuge, in particular, “Down the Hill against Wind and Snow and Back to Nanchang alone at Night”, itself is potential interesting animation, drama, film, painting and other kinds of creative works because of its originality, the legendary characteristics, like the poetry of the fairy tale. And such a real blueprint is very unique nowadays.)

(Cover of the Book “It Happens As Time Flies”)

        中国教育系统2001年10月颁发的“第八届‘雨花奖’全国中学生作文大赛”初中组最高奖获得者马宇歌的获奖作品全文如下:

《披风历雪下井冈 只身夜返南昌城》

        【作者:北京清华大学附属中学初一年级(99·1)“一条龙试验班”宣传委员、校文学社对外联络部长、“北京市百名优秀红十字青少年”马宇歌(女·12岁)】

        (2000年2月1日星期二即农历乙卯年腊月二十六日,天气风雪,马宇歌在江西省南昌市写道)昨天傍晚,别了江西省·井冈山市·厦坪镇·菖蒲村·山田垅小组的尹家小姐妹,离开了她们的村子,刚要上车,井冈山市教委和我一起下来的曾宪明老师被身后的一个青年男子给叫住了。曾老师回头一看,原来是镇上的一个旧友---井冈山石市口小学校长秦浩。曾老师把我介绍给他:“……这个清华大学附中初一的马宇歌才12岁,是一个人从北京来咱们这的……”秦校长听了,说什么也要留我们在他那儿吃饭。曾老师看一下手腕上的菲亚达表,都傍晚6点多了,等往上再回到大山顶处的井冈山市内,想必也没饭了,就带我跟秦校长进了路边的一个馆子。

        这一吃不要紧,秦校长跟曾老师越聊越上瘾,越吃越觉得饿,小酒越喝越不晓得醉。我吃饱了,又听他俩聊了半天,仍见没完,只好自在一旁写日记,看我这回从北京一路带在身边的上、下两册大本字书《水浒传》。直到秦校长买了单,我们一行3人才算好不容易吃完了。他依依不舍地送我和曾老师去上车。出门一看,发现屋外已是大雪纷飞,白茫茫一片。这下,曾老师犯愁了,和秦校长商量怎么办。好在等了一会儿,雪暂时停了。我和曾老师打算先上车,走到哪儿是哪儿。临别,秦校长还在我的日记本上为我题辞:“千禧风流展鸿图”。我握住他的手,欢迎他有机会一定来北京到我家作客。

        我和曾老师上车后,行了约1公里地,车子的照明灯打出的灯光微弱起来。这大雪天,黑漆漆一片,走的又是陡峭崎岖向上爬的山路,沿途根本没有路灯,只能靠汽车本身的照明灯打亮前方。可现在,车上电没了,没灯简直寸步难行。还好,路旁有个电话亭,曾老师赶忙打电话向井冈山市教委求救---请上面派辆好车下来。

        一会儿,市教委的叔叔回了1个电话。只见曾老师对着电话听筒大声嚷嚷:“什么?路被堵住了,雪太大,车子下不来?他妈的,这鬼天气……”撂下等了半天的电话,曾老师钻回车内,气急败坏地对我说:“前面差不多100多米处,是我丈母娘家,你下来跟我把车子推到平缓处。真是,你瞧这顿饭吃的!”到这节骨眼儿,我和司机也没什么好说的,只能照他说的做。

        一下车,我才发现,地上的雪,下得足有10公分厚。再看那天,阴云冉冉,冷气飕飕,黑雾漫漫,狂风飒飒,颇有《水浒传》里当年 “林冲风雪山神庙”的劲头。此刻我只感觉一个字:冷。就连推车从袖筒里伸出的两只手,一下都被彻底冻僵了。司机叔叔倒挺平静,竟然见多识广地对我说:“我们山区,经常出现这种情况。”

        ……

        今天早上,我一觉醒来,大雪已经停了,回味昨天经历的上述那一切,好像只有小说中才可能发生。刚想到此,曾老师的丈母娘轻轻推开我的房门,殷切地进来向我问寒问暖。我顾不得寒暄,赶忙向她老人家打听现在有没有办法回南昌。因为我计划今晚要从南昌转去向塘站乘火车,出江西只身前往云南昆明南边80公里处的玉溪老家和亲戚们一道过春节,然后还要再一个人去趟贵州省呢。阿婆全然不领会我现在的急切心情,慢条思理地对我说:“你的行李已经被人从井冈山市里送下山来了。今天呢,没有到南昌的车。你只能明天再走了。你就安心给我在这儿住着。今天都腊月二十六了,干脆过完年再走吧!”说完,乐着转身走出房门。

        啊,怎么会这样?我居然被困在湘、赣交界,纵贯南北的罗宵山脉中的井冈山大山半山腰了;真是上也上不去,下也下不来,还被盛情的老区人民邀请在这儿过春节。并非我不乐意,而是这将完全打乱了我的计划。我只身从北京出来的时候,随身带了一本备忘录,那上面记着我这次新千年第一个寒假只身赣、滇、黔之行的全部行程安排。我要克服困难,争取严格按原定计划行动。

        不行,我一定要争取今天下山!

        在曾老师丈母娘家吃完早饭,我即刻和南昌小朋友瑶瑶的爸爸取得了联系,告诉他我现在的情况,先让他们放心。接着找曾老师,请求并获他准许,如果行李能被送下来,我今天就回南昌。不过,那样也许不会再有直达车了,只好先坐相反方向开的车去吉安市;再180度往回,“之”字形下山转往平原上的南昌城了。当然这就麻烦些,路跑得也要更多一些。不管怎样,我还是执意要按原订计划行事,今天动身。

        虽然我现在心里很着急,却也不想枉费了窗外这么好的山色美景,赶忙拿起像机跑出门去拍雪景。雪后大白天的井冈山四方环绕,亮出一道独特风景线:一座座小山都像被罩上了银白色的披风,与蔚蓝澄澈的天空形成鲜明对比。远近各家房子的屋顶盖着厚厚白雪,农田全都变了颜色,四野一片寂静。空气清新,沁人心脾。别提多带劲了!

        “宇歌!”正在此时,曾老师的呼唤打消了我的浓浓兴致,“行李运下来了。因为积雪,山路不好走,明天上井冈山市的长途车也不开了,你也只能到吉安市去转车回南昌了。快去跟我拿行李吧。”

        取了行李,正好一辆到吉安的中巴车打这经过。我们一行人冲着中巴大喊:“停一下,停一下!”车子停下来,司机由车窗里伸出脑袋,大声地冲我们嚷嚷:“快点!快点!”曾老师以最快的语速对我说:“你来我们这里住的那个小朋友家的阿姨给你捎了一袋茶鸡蛋,记着路上吃。一路走好!” “嗯,谢谢!”我真不知道该说什么话来表达我的万分感激了。曾老师的丈母娘却在一旁自言自语:“在这儿过年多好……”我也只能以笑来回答她老人家了。接着,我提上行李,飞也似地奔向汽车。“快点,快点!”司机又在催了,我真恨爹妈少生两条腿。这时,身后传来了老区人民对我的祝福:“一路走好啊,小宇歌!”

        “谢谢您们,放心吧。再见!”

        搭上这辆车,大约走了半个小时,也就是午时13点左右,车上的售票员突然说车子要换方向,让我们调到另外一辆车子上去。我顺着人流,一个人提着行李,在这人生地不熟的地方,由这辆中巴车,换到另外一辆中巴车上去。沉甸甸的行李,搞得我气喘嘘嘘。但是,坐在四面透风的中巴车里,我反而觉得这是一种独特享受。

        换上的这辆中巴车严重超载,里面的人不计其数,行李堆得满世界都是。我坐的位子是最靠门的那个。寒风从门缝中直刺入我的骨头,我被冻得瑟瑟发抖。这时,一个大约七旬的老婆婆带着一个八、九岁的男孩子最后跟着也上了车。车里根本没有插足的缝隙。我本能地刚要起身让座,那个老婆婆扶着门把手,眼睛飞速地向车里巡视一遍,然后毫不犹豫地往我身上一坐。我被弄得丈二和尚摸不着脑袋,莫明其妙!未等我反应过来,老婆婆又一把拉过小男孩,让小男孩坐在了她的腿上。嘿!你说这世上倒是啥事都有啊!

        我严严实实地 “抱” 着这两个人,不一会儿工夫,双脚全部麻木了。实在有点承受不了,心想:唉,老婆婆年纪大了,让她们坐吧,我站会儿。于是,我像从枕头下面抽出书本那样,将身子挪开,把座位让给了这个老婆婆和她的孩子,自己挤在一旁站着。老婆婆冲我笑了笑,表示感谢。我也对她笑了笑,告诉她这没关系,别客气。我们就在这种无言的默契中彼此表达了各自的感情。

        15时左右,不知不觉,中巴车已然抵达终点---吉安市长途汽车站。这个小城的车站可真人山人海。我一个人提着几十斤重的行李,去找售票窗口,买票转车去南昌市。

        这种长途汽车站,在北京是肯定找不到的:一个砖建的灰色特大房子里,排放着一条条长板凳,其中的一侧有几个售票窗口。这也算候车室。房外后头是一大片空地,停满了长途汽车。经过几次向周围人打听,我终于找到了去南昌的那个售票窗口。

        只见窗口里的木桌旁,围着坐了一圈正在闲聊的阿姨。“阿姨,买张过会儿到南昌的票。” “45元。”我把钱递给她:“阿姨,这车什么时候开呀?” “半小时以后。” “好的,谢谢您。”

        我从早上到现在什么也没吃,肚子饿得要命。忽然我想起了那一袋茶叶蛋,连忙从提包里翻出它们来。“哇,这么多!”井冈山上的阿姨竟然给我往袋里塞了十来个茶蛋,这怎么吃得了?算了,先吃吃再说。我拼命地吞了两个。接着,再也吃不动了。

         怎么办?把这些蛋带南昌去,路途又要经过三、四个小时,不都臭了才怪呢!这可是老区阿姨对我的厚赠啊,绝对不能糟蹋。对了,我在上小学的时候,不是经常把自己没用的、别的小朋友想要的东西,低价卖给他们吗?记得老师为这事还专门找我谈过话:“这是学校,不是交易所。如果你想以这种方式锻炼一下自己的能力,可以去市场、上社会上嘛……!”没错。我向四周看了看,熙熙嚷嚷的,什么人都有。有坐着等车的老大爷、有哄小孩儿的阿婆、有招呼乘客的司机……好一个千载难逢的机会,我可不能错过了它。

        于是,我提着茶蛋,走到一个抱小孩的阿姨面前:“阿姨,来个茶蛋吃吧,才5毛钱。”阿姨上上下下把我打量了一番,看我一身城里人装束,满口流利的“京片子”(见附后注)普通话,笑了笑,好像在说:“小朋友别胡闹了,你是卖茶蛋的嘛!”

        被泼了一头冷水,只感觉有点失望。“没关系”,我对自己说。接着,又来到几个正在等车的民工面前。“叔叔,饿了吧?来个茶蛋吧,挺便宜的。”说话的时候,我还特意学着当地人的腔调,尽量让人别再认出我是“京片子”。这几个民工叔叔中有个充大款的,抹一把鼻涕,唾沫星子横飞:“来4个,咱一人1个,我请客!”我乐得一蹦3尺高,兴奋地说:“好的,好的,两块钱。”说着从袋子里掏出茶蛋,给那4位民工叔叔一人发了1个,然后接过 “大款”叔叔递给我的人民币两元钱。

        俗话说,开头顺,事事顺,这话一点没错。我的“生意”真是越做越红火,不一会儿工夫就卖出了8个。大丰收呀!当我拿着剩下的几个茶蛋,兴致勃勃地奔向下一个买主的时候,忽然听到一个小女孩的声音在冲我叫:“姐姐!”我扭头一看,有个衣衫褴楼的小女孩,面向我扑嗵一声跪在了地上;她身后自己手里拉着的几乎矮得快挨着地面的一个4轱辘小车上,还躺着个断了双臂的小哥哥。这小女孩伸出她那双满是裂口的小黑手,捧在一块儿,以祈求的目光,眼巴巴地望着我。我脑海里一下子浮现出了“卖火柴的小女孩” ——那个丹麦作家安徒生笔下因为没人关怀而离开人世的小生命。童话中的那一幕,不就发生在如今这样的年关嘛!我走过去,蹲下来,在她面前用我的两手握紧她那双冰凉的小手。多粗糙呀!小女孩一直盯着我怀里的茶蛋。我马上把所剩的茶蛋全部送给了她,并且将刚才卖茶蛋的钱,也一并塞给了她。小女孩先把钱揣进衣兜,接过茶蛋二话没说,一边剥开蛋皮狼吞虎咽着,一边准备去喂她平躺在小木板车上的残疾哥哥。此刻望着他俩,我即感到欣慰,又心如刀绞似地别提有多难过了……

        15:30时,我终于坐上了从吉安直达南昌的大巴车。因为快到年关了,乡下没什么人再上南昌去了,这趟大巴车内只有不到10个乘客。而且除我以外,清一色全是30到40岁的大男人。真可谓一路无话。我虽然感到有些疲倦,但车窗外美丽的田园景色却打消了我的睡意。连绵起伏的山脉,仍旧沉寂地躺在茫茫白雪中。天色渐渐暗了下去,空中朦朦胧胧地翱翔着朵朵云彩。视线中,车到之处,路堤旁边,成群结队的小鸭子争先恐后跳下池塘……

        大巴车在公路上奔波了近4个小时,顺利地抵达了省城。这时,头顶已是黑朦朦一片,月亮早就爬上树梢了。几颗闪亮的星星也来助兴。眼前的南昌,和我从首都北京只身来到它时一模一样,灯火通明。万家灯火把春节前的江西这座最大城市,点缀得像天堂似的无比灿烂。

        拉着带轱轳的行李箱,我独自一人走在回瑶瑶家的路上。虽然行李还是那么重,但是我却有种如释重负的感觉。我从农历腊月二十四日独自一人坐长途公共汽车上井冈山,到今天再只身返回南昌城,这短短的几天内,经历了多少波折、多少事情!我应井冈山市教委之邀,到井冈山中学为师生们演讲;请那儿的老师带我到厦坪镇菖蒲村山田垅,为老区贫困同龄小朋友捐上我从北京带来的书和我挣的稿费;之后被大雪困在半山腰;为了完成计划我又迫不得已从吉安转车回南昌……更有趣的是,我竟然“混” 在 “男人专车”中,在这星月高挂的傍晚,昼夜长途跋涉,最后安然返抵了江西省城南昌。

        当我敲开瑶瑶小朋友家的屋门时,他们全家在门里都露出了惊讶的神色,不敢相信我一个人今晚会转车按时回到南昌,并且还能记性那么好,竟然自己寻原路找上门来。(因为我这次初到江西前,和他们彼此只打过电话,谁也不认识谁。谢菲阿姨是从湖北省教委《独生子女》月刊1999年第6期和第11期的两本杂志报道中知道我,邀我来南昌的)我把一路上的所见所闻,绘声绘色地讲给他们听,瑶瑶的妈妈谢菲阿姨和叔叔(瑶瑶的爸爸)一边点头,一边将信将疑。他们告诉我,此时爸爸、妈妈已从北京抵达云南,正在等我按计划会齐在云南省玉溪市老家,团团圆圆过春节呢。我可以等会儿坐阿姨家的汽车连夜赶往100多公里外的向塘车站,几个小时以后等到次日凌晨1点钟,就可以乘上海开往云南的过路火车去昆明了。是吗?赶快把这个好消息告诉爸爸、妈妈吧。自从我腊月十九只身离京到江西南昌后,一个多星期以来,一直没有机会和家里亲人联系过。思念使我激动地拨通了云南玉溪老家的电话,电话那头传来了爸、妈熟悉的声音。

        “爸爸、妈妈您们好;我是宇歌。我已经自己安全重返南昌了,很快就会来到您们面前啦……”
—————————————————————————
        注:京片子 ——江西人对北京口音的人,称“京片子”。

        (2000年2月1日星期二即农历乙卯年腊月二十六日,天气风雪,北京清华大学附属中学初中一年级 <99·1> 班即1999年入校的“一条龙试验班”12岁女生马宇歌,写于江西省南昌市。原文截自《初一12岁宁歌2000年寒假只身赣、滇、黔之行日记》。本篇全文5300字。如需了解作者马宇歌的背景及该生其它作品,到网上去搜她的名字即可找到大量内容。网上只有她叫“马宇歌”,没有重名者。要想知道她长得什么样,去搜这个人名的“图片”就能看到马宇歌了。)

        (【注】以上《上乘范文举例<披星历雪下井冈 只身夜返南昌城>》一文,截自作者王凤臣先生2008年10月发表在《作文周刊》上的《21世纪中国在校生为什么写不出像样作文》,以下是作者马宇歌的《披星历雪下井冈 只身夜返南昌城》一文英译。 )

        The article which won the top “Yuhuatai Award”(“雨花奖”) in October 2001 is as follows in full text.

Down the Hill against Wind and Snow and Back to Nanchang alone at Night

        【Writer: Ma Yuge(Ma Yu-ge/马宇歌/馬宇歌), a 12-year-old girl, seventh grader of the High School Attached to Tsinghua University(清华大学附属中学校), class president for publicity, head of the public relations department of the school literature association, one of the hundred excellent Red Cross Adolescents in Beijing.】

        (February 1st 2000, windy and snowy, in Nanchang city[南昌市], Jiangxi province[江西省], Ma Yuge) Late afternoon yesterday, after saying goodbye to the Yin sisters in Changpu village of Xiaping county in Jinggangshan city, Jiangxi province(江西省·井冈山市· 厦坪镇· 菖蒲村·山田垅), I was about to leave the village. Then before I got on the car to go, Mr. Zeng Xianming(曾宪明), a member of Jinggangshan’s education commission who had visited the village with me, heard a young man behind him calling his name. Turning around, he found it was an old friend Qin Hao(秦浩) from the county, the headmaster of Jinggangshan Shishikou Primary School(井冈山石市口小学). Then Mr. Zeng introduced me to his friend: “……This is Ma Yuge(Ma Yu-ge/马宇歌/馬宇歌), a seventh grader of the High School Attached to Tsinghua University(清华大学附属中学校). She is only 12. She came here from Beijing all by herself……” Hearing that, Mr. Qin insisted that we should leave after having dinner there. Mr. Zeng looked at his watch and found it was already over six o’clock, and we were at the foot of the Jinggang Mountain. If we left there at that time, there must be nothing to eat when we reached the top of the mountain where the city stood because it would be very late by then. Therefore, Mr. Zeng took Mr. Qin and me to a restaurant nearby for dinner.

        I should have known the downside of running into an old friend. Mr. Qin and Mr. Zeng talked a lot over the dinner. And what’s even worse was that the more they talked about the more they ate and drank. I finished my dinner and listened to them for a while but they didn’t seem to notice the time. I thought it would be rude to interrupt so I wrote something in my diary and then picked up the book “The Water Margin” which I took with me all the way from Beijing. Finally the talk came to an end. Mr. Qin paid the bill and was about to see Mr. Zeng and me off. Unfortunately it was snowing heavily outside, which meant that we had to stay. Later the snow stopped for a while. Mr. Zeng and I decided to set off in the car anyway. Just upon departure, Mr. Qin wrote down a line of words on my diary “Fulfill Your Aspirations in the New Millennium”. I thanked him and invited him to visit me in Beijing some day.

        About one kilometer away from the village, the headlights of the car we took began to dim down. It’s late night. It’s dark and snowy. The road up the mountain was steep and bumpy and there was no street lamp at all. The only light we could get was from the headlights of the car, which happened to dim down because the battery was running down. We could not move on without light. Fortunately, there was a telephone booth on the roadside so Mr. Zeng called Jinggangshan education commission to send a car down to pick us.

        A few minutes later, someone called back. I heard Mr. Zeng yelling to the phone: “What? The road has been blocked by heavy snow? So no cars could come down? Damn it! What the hell ……” Hanging up the phone, Mr. Zeng came back to the car and said angrily to me: “My mother-in-law lives about 100 meters from here so we can sleep over there tonight. But before that you have to join me pushing the car to somewhere smooth. If only we hadn’t had the dinner! ” Yeah, it’s perfect timing. But what happened happened; what else could we do?

        Not until getting out of the car did we find that the snow on the road was as thick as 10 centimeters. Deep in night, overcast sky, cold gale, mist in the air …… The scene was quite similar to the one described in “The Water Margin” where Lin Chong(林冲) visited a temple in a windy and snowy night. At that time, I could only felt freezing cold outside. My hands were immediately frozen the moment they came out of the sleeves. The driver seemed to be calm and not worried at all. He said: “Nothing new. It often happens here.”

        ……
       
        This morning when I woke up, it had stopped snowing. What had happened last night was like a dream which could only happen in novels. As I was recalling the experience, Mr. Zeng’s mother-in-law came into my room and asked whether I had slept well. Realizing there was no time for chinchin, I asked her about the way back to Nanchang(南昌). I had planned to leave Nanchang tonight for Xiangtang(向塘) where I would take the train to my hometown Yuxi(玉溪) which is 80 kilometers to the south of Kunming(昆明) in Yunnan province(云南省) where I would celebrate the Lunar New Year with my parents and relatives. After that I would also like to go to Guizhou province(贵州省) on my own. But the old lady didn’t seem to get my point. She said: “Your luggage has been sent down here. And there is no bus to Nanchang today so you have to stay here until tomorrow. Don’t worry. It’s already December 26th on lunar calendar. Why not stay here and celebrate the Lunar New Year with us? ” Then she walked out of my room happily.

        How could this happen to me? I was trapped somewhere between Hunan and Jiangxi, halfway up the Jinggang Mountain. I was not able to go up or down and I was welcome to stay there for the Lunar New Year. I would love to stay but that would ruin my plan. On the memo I took with me, I had written down the schedule for the trip to Jiangxi, Yunnan and Guizhou in the first winter holiday of the new millennium. I had to overcome any difficulty. I had to move on according to my plan.

        “Yes, I have to descend the mountain today!” I said to myself.

        After breakfast I called the father of my little friend Yaoyao(瑶瑶) in Nanchang(南昌) and told him about the situation and that he didn’t need to worry. Then I went to ask Mr. Zeng for his permission to go back to Nanchang today if my luggage was sent down. But maybe by then there would be no non-stop bus to Nanchang so I may have to change buses for several times. It may take me much more time to get back to Nanchang. Whatever! I insisted leaving Jinggang Mountain today.

        Although I was in a hurry, I would not like to miss the beautiful scenery outside so I took out my camera to take some photos. It was a special scene after the snow in the mountain. Every hill was covered by white snow which contrasted sharply with the blue sky. All houses and the field were also covered with snow. Everything was in silence around there. Snow made the air refreshing and stimulating.

        I was roaming around and appreciating the natural beauty of the mountain when a voice drew me back to reality. “Yuge!” (Yu-ge/宇歌)Mr. Zeng was calling. “Your luggage has arrived but due to the heavy snow there will be no bus to Jinggangshan city(井冈山市) so you have to go to Ji’an(吉安) first and then transfer the bus to Nanchang there. Now go and get your luggage.”

        I had just got my luggage when a mini-bus to Ji’an passed by. We stopped the bus immediately and driver shouted to us: “Quick! Quick!” Then Mr. Zeng told me in time: “The mother of the sisters whose house you stayed made a bag of tea eggs for you in case you are hungry on the road. Good journey! Bye!” “Thank you!” I could not find other words to express my gratitude. Mr. Zeng’s mother-in-law was murmuring: “Why not stay here for the Lunar New Year ……” I didn’t know how to answer but give her a big smile. The driver was yelling “Quick” again so I grabbed my luggage and got on the bus. “Bon voyage! Little Yuge!”

        “Thank you! Bye!”

        Half an hour later at around 13:00, the conductor on the mini-bus said that the bus was going to turn around so we needed to transfer to another bus. I had no idea what was going on but I had to follow other people to another mini-bus. My heavy luggage almost got me out of breath. But it was kind of special to sit in a min-bus full of wind.

        The second mini-bus I took was seriously overloaded with numerous passengers and their luggage. My seat was near the door with cold wind coming in from the crack of the door so I was almost frozen there. Just at that time, an old woman with an eight-year-old boy got on the bus but there was no room for them to stand at all. I was just about to give my seat to them when the old woman quickly sat on my laps. Before I figured out what was happening she put the boy on my laps, too. I couldn’t believe what I had seen but anything could happen in this world.

        With an old woman and a boy sitting on my laps, my feet became numb soon and I really couldn’t take it any more. But the woman was rather old. It would be rude to ask her to stand up. Finally I moved away slowly and left the seat to the woman and the boy. She smiled to me as a way of saying “thank you” and I smiled back to her. Neither of us said anything but we understood what each other meant.

        The mini-bus arrived in Ji’an at around 15:00. Ji’an is a small city but there was a crowd of people waiting at the station. I went to buy a ticket to Nanchang with my heavy luggage.

        It is hard to see a long-distance bus station like that. In a big gray brick-room lay rows of long benches. Ticket windows were placed in one side of the room. People could stay there to wait for the bus. Outside the room there was a big open ground where many long-distance buses were parking. Eventually the window selling tickets to Nanchang came into my sight.

        Through the window, I saw some women chatting around a wooden table so I asked: “How much is the ticket to Nanchang, please?” “Forty-five yuan one ticket.” I gave her the money and asked one more question. “When is the next bus leaving?” “In half an hour.” “Thank you.”

        The sense of hunger reminded me of the tea eggs Mr. Zeng had put in my bag. Taking them out, I found that there were more than ten in total, enough for me. I swallowed two eggs but couldn’t have more.

        What could I do with the rest? Taking them to Nanchang? No, because those eggs would go bad if kept in the bag for three or four more hours. Then I remembered that in primary school I used to sell the stuff I didn’t need to my friends at a low price. I also remembered what my teacher told me “This is school, not a marketplace. If you want to do this, go to a market.” Right! Looking around, I saw many people there like an old man waiting for the bus, an old woman taking care of a kid, a driver talking to passengers etc. “This is a good opportunity. How can I let it go?” I said to myself.

        Then I walked to a woman with a kid in her arms. “Hi, do you want a tea egg? It’s only a half yuan each.” She looked me up and down, from head to toe and recognized my Beijing accent. Then she answered: “You are not going to make fun of me, kid. You are selling me tea eggs? No way! ”

        I was a little bit disappointed but it’s OK. I moved on to a couple of migrant workers waiting for a bus. “Hi, you must be hungry. How about a tea egg? It’s cheap. ” I was trying to use local accent so that they couldn’t tell my Beijing accent. It’s interesting this time. One of them seemed to be “wealthier’ and said to me: “Give me four. You three take one each. It’s on me.” “OK, two yuan.” I was so happy to hear that. Giving them one egg each, I got two yuan from the “rich man”.

        It’s true that good beginning is half success. My business was getting better and better. A while later eight eggs were sold out. A big step forward! When I was about to continue my business with the rest eggs, a girl shouted to me “Hi, sister!” I turned around and saw a little girl in shabby clothes. She suddenly kneed down in front of me. And behind her there was a small four-wheel cart in which a boy with no arms lay. The girl looked at me eagerly and held out her hands begging me. It reminded me of the little match girl, a character of Danish writer Anderson. What a cruel reality! I walked to her, kneed down and held her cold hands. She was staring at the left eggs in my bag so I gave them and all the money I got from selling eggs to her. She put the money in her pocket and began to eat the eggs and feed her disabled brother. Seeing that, I was relieved but also very sad.

        Finally I got on the bus from Ji’an to Nanchang at 15:30. Farmers seldom went to Nanchang when the Lunar New Year was approaching so there were just less than 10 passengers on the bus, mostly 30-40 men except me. It’s silent all along the road. I felt a little tired but beautiful scenery attracted all my attention. Mountains were lying in white snow. It’s getting dark. Several clouds were floating up in the sky. Flocks of little ducks were jumping into ponds.……

        After four hours’ journey I finally arrived in Nanchang. It’s quite late. The moon had already climbed up above trees. A few stars were shining. It’s the same shining Nanchang as it had been when I came here from Beijing. It was lit up by millions of lights. It’s like the paradise.

        On the way back to Yaoyao’s(瑶瑶) home, I felt relaxed and relieved in spite of the heavy luggage. Looking back, I realized that I had experienced so much over the past three days. At the invitation of Jinggangshan education commission, I went to Jinggangshan Middle School to make a speech for the students and teachers there. I visited Changpu village and donated some books and money to the children there. I was trapped halfway in the Jinggang Mountain. I went to Ji’an to transfer the bus to Nanchang. And finally I got back to Nanchang safe and sound.

        When I was standing at the doorway of Yaoyao’s house, all the people at home were surprised to see me because they couldn’t believe that I had come all the way back on my own. (Ms. Xie Fei [谢菲] got to know me from the periodic One Child [《独生子女》] the 6th and the 11th in 1999, and the magazine is hold by Education Commission of Hubei Province. She invited me to Nanchang[南昌] after reading my story. We called each other before met.) I told them about what I had experienced on the road. They believed half of my story and doubted the other half. They told me that my parents had been back to my hometown Yuxi in Yunnan. In a while Yaoyao’s mother Ms. Xie Fei(谢菲)could drive me to Xiangtang station(向塘火车站). And the next morning I could take the train from Shanghai(上海) to Yunnan(云南). I had to tell the good news to my parents. I hadn’t talked to them ever since I left Beijing for Nanchang. It had been more than a week. I made the call and heard the familiar voice of my parents.

        “Mom and Dad, hi! It’s me, Yuge. I have returned to Nanchang and will see you soon……”

        (Tuesday, February 1st, 2000, Chinese Yimao year Layue 26th, windy and snowy, Ma Yuge, 12-year-old girl in first-year junior of High School Attached to Tsinghua University which were enrolled in 1999 and class in <99·1>“through-train test ban” [ “一条龙试验班”] wrote this diary in Nanchang City, Jiangxi Province. It’s selected from the original diary of “Yuge, 12-year-old junior high school girl’s solitary journey to provinces of Jiangxi Yunnan and Guizhou, in 2000 winter holidays”. This is a 5300-word article. If you want to know more about Ma Yuge[马宇歌]and her works, you can find all the information from the Internet by searching her name “Ma Yuge”[“马宇歌”/ “馬宇歌”], her images are also included. )

 

    来源:作文周刊

 
Date:2009-1-22 10:08:43     
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